I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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