Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize