she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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