his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
