i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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