I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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