so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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