call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
