...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
