You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
