i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
