Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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