I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
