Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
