Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
