i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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