How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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