Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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