it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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