Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
