hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize