I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
