I've blown a few things in my day
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
