don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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