Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So squirting runs in the family.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
