it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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