I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
