I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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