Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
