he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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