Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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