Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
