No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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