Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Mom said you looked used
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
