she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
