Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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