there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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