In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
