ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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