oh god the rape fog is back!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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