I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
