i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
