I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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