TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
