FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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