Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
