She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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