thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
