You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
