well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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