Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
