Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
