I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
