grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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