Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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