walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
