Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
