Your mouth is God's brothel.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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